


Tribbles

by AwatereJones



Series: Mish Mash Menagerie [14]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Comedy, F/F, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Smut, Tribbles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 02:51:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6312457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwatereJones/pseuds/AwatereJones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The prompt was ….</p><p>the dino adopts a pet !</p><p>maybe an alien tribble thingie , populates like nuts !</p><p>oo ooo , Lanto get s to fire gwen !</p><p>ok , last one , janet gets out and mates and gets pregnant again</p><p>redro32244 was the one to blame for this. LOL</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tribbles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redro32244](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redro32244/gifts), [Schuneko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schuneko/gifts).



"What is it?" Owen asked as they tried to pan the camera for a better look in the nest but Myfanwy kept moving to block the shot.

"Well, only one thing for it. You gotta go in and get it!" Jack sighed.

"Why me!" Ianto demanded.

"You are least likely to get bitten for taking it, you know she likes her bloody trophies" Owen pointed out as Tosh made a small sound.

"Whatever it is, there's more than one in there, it seems to be …. They're moving." She gasped.

They all remembered that litter of kittens she stole from the alley cat and sighed, the mess when they had come in the next morning to find she had squashed some by laying on them, one was stuck between her toes and another had fallen to its doom.

This thought had Ianto running for the ladder, intent on saving any kitty he could.

"Ianto" Jack called out at the bottom of the ladder as he tried to look unconcerned, "Please be careful."

Ianto didn't bother answering, glad his blush at the public plea was hidden.

He entered the pipe and cooed softly, getting a reply.

_OK, she's not pissy._

Ianto moved closer, crouching as he crooned and reached out to stroke her leathery wing.

"What you got there sweetheart?" he asked as he looked between her feet.

Fluff?

Lots of little balls of fluff and he stared for a moment before the horrible realisation of what they were sank in.

He touched his comms, "Sir. She brought home Tribbles."

"What?" Owen said, "What did you say? Trouble?"

"They certainly are!" Jack reared back with horror, "Tribbles. Shit, how many?"

"Er, six. No seven. Um. Ten?"

"Ianto, get out of there!" Jack said with growing alarm as the screen started to fill with fluff.

"I can't …. Where is ….um …."

"IANTO!" Jack was running for the ladder, looking up at he saw Ianto's feet appear, feeling for the rungs of the ladder as a Tribble flew past him, seemed to hover for a moment, then fall into the water pool.

Ianto's foot slipped and Jack cried out, grabbing the ladder and starting to climb, then he stopped as Ianto seemed to find his footing and climb down.

Ianto reached the bottom, panting and rubbing at his body, "They tickled."

"You OK?" Jack took him by his upper arms and looked into his eyes seeing a dazed expression.

"Owen?" Jack pushed him towards Owen and then called out a warning as another Tribble fell.

"Bloody bird is insane!" Owen snarled.

Ianto blinked and snorted, then frowned.

"What did you call Myf?" he demanded, leaning into Owen's face.

"Your bloody bir….."

Ianto's head butt was unexpected, by everyone including Ianto who made a small sound of surprise as he reached up and rubbed his forehead.

"Ow!" Ianto muttered.

Jack frowned, then looked up at the Tribbles again and sighed, "Don't touch the fluffs."

"What?" Tosh asked, one in her hand.

"Drop it!" Jack demanded and she did, rubbing her hand on her thigh as she whispered to Ianto that he was right, they did tickle.

Ianto grinned and snorted.

Tosh snorted back.

They then snorted together, like it was some secret language.

"Shit" Jack slapped his forehead.

"Owen, I need you to … Owen?" Jack looked down at the doctor, "Why are you down there?"

"Bastard Tea Boy head butted me ya plonker!" Owen snarled and Jack looked at Ianto.

"You missed it" Ianto informed him with a serious look.

"Sorry" Jack said automatically.

"Um, Owen. I suggest you get your arse topside before you get infected as well." Jack said and Owen struggled to his feet with a look of horror.

"Infected?"

"The Tribbles. When they mate they produce a serum that they excrete" Jack explained, "When it comes in contact with your skin it becomes an…."

A Tribble landed on Owen's head with a dull splat.

"….aphrodisiac" Jack finished with despair as the Tribble slid of Owen's head like a toupee escaping.

"Huh" Owen responded as he watched Tosh lick her lips. "Shit."

Ianto was silently staring at Jack and he blinked.

Slowly.

"Jack"

Jack looked at Ianto and waved at him to wait, "Owen, we need to scoop them up before they get too much, fire extinguishers stop them multiplying if I remember correctly."

"Jack."

"In a minute Ianto, we need to contain them in one of the cells and they will soon go dormant." Jack explained as Owen nodded.

Owen ginned.

"Shit" Jack sighed.

"Jack."

"Ianto, I don't have time for …" Jack turned to face Ianto and was seized as a lip lock was employed that left him boneless.

"I am not waiting anymore. I am sick of waiting for you!" Ianto said angrily, "I wait for you all the bloody time. Are you going to fuck me or not! IF not, I'll take Owen. OR Tosh, I really don't care."

Jack gaped as Owen stepped towards Ianto and then dragged him around his hip and behind him as he faced Owen, "Mine!"

"Fine!" Owen snorted, turning and grabbing Tosh, "Come on toots. Help me get the fluffs and I'll rock your world."

"OK" Tosh agreed with a grin, "But I think I will do the rocking of you don't mind, you just lay back and let me ride!"

Owen grinned as he led her away, "Whatever you want toots."

"Jack?" Ianto said dreamily as he looked around with a dazed look.

"Come one baby" Jack said as he brushed a Tribble off his shoulder, "Let's go see if we can sort this out."

"Yes. Yes. I need a good sorting out" Ianto grinned, licking his lips, "Please Sir."

Jack led him to the sofa and started pulling at his clothes, "Bloody things."

"Oi, my bloody things!" Ianto growled, pulling at the Windsor knot as Jack whined.

Soon Jack had skin to lick, nuzzle and nip at as Ianto made decadent moaning noises, rubbing his groin against Jack's hip.

"Oh please Sir, you promised me a seeing to" Ianto whined.

"Fuck!" Jack swallowed, now pulling at his own clothes.

"Bloody things" he said again as he struggled with the buttons.

Ianto reached out and tore the buttons, their soft pinging as they flew about the hub unnoticed as both men grinned dopily at each other.

"Ah. What?" Jack blinked.

"A seeing to" Ianto reminded him and Jack raised a finger and tapped his nose.

"Right-o, lets see." Jack looked appreciatively at the large dick swinging in front of him as he dropped his own trousers and grinned as said dick stood to attention.

"Nice" Ianto whispered.

"I think so" Jack agreed, reaching out and cupping the balls, rolling them as Ianto's knees buckled and he sat on the arm of the sofa, leaning back with a soft cry.

"Fuck" Jack seemed stuck on that word today.

"Oh yes please sir" Ianto wailed, lifting his knees and displaying a wanton hole.

Jack said … well, you know I don't need to repeat it for you, your dirty minds are on the same wavelength as mine as Jack pushed forward, his engorged cock pushing at the entrance to the promised land.

Ianto groaned and threw his head back as Jack pushed the tip in, then Jack watched that tongue lick those lips and he lost it

He stepped back and grabbed Ianto swinging him around and slamming him down so his face was in the sofa cushions and his arse hung up over the sofa arm.

"Perfect" Jack crowed, pushing in as he grabbed those slim hips for stability.

He seated himself and then wriggled his hips to go as deep as he could, the cry of pleasure/pain from Ianto a distant music as Jack snarled and gave in to his animalistic urge to fuck this man within an inch of his life.

The sofa shifted with each thrust, walking across the hub floor with noises of protest.

Ianto was panting as he pushed himself off the cushions, bracing himself on the sofa seat as Jack grabbed a handful of his hair, arching his back and he slammed at a better angle.

Ianto screamed, writhing as that certain bundle of nerves got a workout to die for.

"JACK!" Ianto screamed as he felt himself cumming, his feet scrabbling for traction as he pushed back against Jack's groin and his muscles clamped down, causing Jack to yell as well.

Jack had Ianto pinned against the sofa arm and Ianto bonelessly grunted and shuddered, Jack's snarls becoming whines as he struggled with the tight hole.

A little movement and Jack used it, slamming with such force that the wind was driven from Ianto's lungs, Jack cumming and screaming Ianto's name in a high pitch.

Cum dribbled down Ianto's thighs as Jack came again, falling against Ianto's back and sobbing as he still thrust in a spasmodic fashion.

The men lay groaning and shaking.

Ianto looked over at Tosh, their eyes meeting as Owen's head bobbed between her legs and Ianto snorted as he winked.

She grinned, then threw her head back as Owen's tongue went deep.

"Jack" Ianto gasped, "Can't breathe."

Jack rolled off Ianto, landing on the grating with a dull thud.

Ianto giggled.

Tosh cried out as Owen rose to his knees, impaling her as he started his own pleasurable drilling.

Soon the sounds of sex roused the two men and Jack swore softly as Ianto slid from the sofa and landed next to him.

"That was very nice Sir" Ianto said with wide eyes, like a childlike honesty, "But I really think we need to sort these fluffs."

"Yes. Yes" Jack swallowed, "We see to the Tribbles, then we see to you again. Yeah?"

Jack's wide grin was lovely and Ianto awed as he extended a hand and stroked the semi flaccid dick that lay within reach, then squeezed.

"Fuck" Jack swallowed.

"Yes." Ianto nodded as he grinned, "Fluffy things first my Cariad."

The two men walked like drunken sailors, stumbling around as they gathered the Tribbles and threw them into a cell with gleeful giggles.

Owen and Tosh were asleep, Owen with his head buried in Tosh's breasts.

Ianto hesitated, then took a few snaps before stumbling off after another Tribble.

"Got the last one!" Ianto crowed.

Jack roared with laughter as Ianto held it up, shaking it.

"It's dead!" he said with sorrow, "I must have squashed it."

"Yan, it's a sock" Jack chuckled and Ianto looked again.

"Oh yeah" he grinned. "Socky. Hello Socky."

He placed it reverently on the coffee table and petted it, then resumed Tribble hunting.

Jack thought that was the sweetest thing he had ever seen.

"Be right back Socky" he whispered to it, then weaved off after Ianto.

The Tribbles were caught, Tosh was slapping at Owen with horror as the enzyme wore off and the alarms started to sound.

Tosh shot off and Owen followed, grabbing at her with glee.

The Tribble he had slept on hadn't helped him any.

Gwen entered the hub and looked around with horror at the mess.

"IANTO!" she screamed, "What the fuck had happened here!"

"Exactly that!" Ianto said as he appeared his tie once more in a Windsor knot.

Not around his neck … well, that neck.

She gaped as the tie swung between his legs and Ianto placed his hands on his hips in Jack's favourite pose.

"You screeched bitch?"

Gwen opened her mouth. Then closed it with shock.

She looked around and scooped the sock off the table, throwing it at him.

"At least cover that thing up!" she demanded and Ianto gaped with horror.

"Go on, stick it in that" she demanded.

"Socky?" Ianto whispered with wide, horror filled eyes.

"Yes, stick it in!" she ordered and Ianto started backing up with a look of disgust.

"How dare you!" he said with venom, "How dare you insinuate I could … if I would even … that's just …. Disgusting!"

"What's wrong?" Jack appeared from behind the couch, a Tribble in a box and a cock waving at Ianto.

"She wants me to stick my …" Ianto leaned in, "Mr Winky … into Socky."

Jack dropped the box and his shoulders dropped as he took on a look of total devastation.

"Not Socky!"

"No. Definitely not!" Ianto agreed, stumbling a bit as he raised the sock and lovingly kissed it. "Poor wee Socky."

Jack reached out, "Here. Give him to me, he looks tired."

Ianto handed over the sock as Gwen blinked and looked around.

"Is this a joke?" she asked softly, "Is Toshiko hiding somewhere filming this?"

"Come on Socky, Daddy will make you a nice wee bed in a drawer" Jack crooned, "You like drawers, don't you. Say bye-bye to Taddy Bum."

Ianto turned to glare at Gwen with a look of doom.

"You!" he pointed at her, his dick swinging, making the tie dance as he strode forward, "You fucking bitch. How dare you insinuate I do such a thing to a poor innocent little Socky that has only ever wanted to keep my left foot warm. You cold, cruel bitch."

Maybe she should have been more afraid, maybe she should have questioned the sanity of it but the words came out before she could stop them.

"How do you know it's for the left foot?"

"RACIST BITCH!" he screamed, his face turning red, "HOW DARE YOU!"

"Ah, Ianto?" Gwen started to back towards the exit, finally getting the danger in the situation.

"Next I suppose you are going to tell me they all look the same!" Ianto demanded, his hands on his hips.

"Well …. Shit!" Gwen ran.

"Don't come back!" Ianto screamed, his voice breaking as he staggered towards the closing doors, "You're fired you bitch, Jack will not tolerate such bigotry in his hub!"

"What baby?" Jack staggered out of the kitchen, grinning manically, "Socky wanted a bath. He looks so cute in the bubbles."

"Aw. Yeah?" Ianto said as he gushed, clasping his hands together, "Ah. Our wee boy likes bubbles Cariad?"

"Yeah" Jack sighed, pulling Ianto into his arms and leaning down to bite his neck.

"I fired Gwen. She wanted me to fuck Socky and then she had the gall to say he might not be a lefty!" Ianto said softly, rubbing Jack's butt cheeks.

"Bitch" Jack muttered, sliding a finger into Ianto as he decided he was ready for a seeing to again. "How narrow minded. Our child can be whatever he wants to be, we will love him all the same!"

"Oh Cariad, yes please" Ianto whimpered, pushing away and then walking to the sofa, folding himself over the back of it so Jack could easily see the eagerness of his lovely Welshman.

"Oh Ianto. You are a bad boy!" Jack huffed, walking over and slapping him across the butt.

Ianto cried out and his hips pistoned as he fucked the hole that Owen had ripped in the fabric one night while playing basketball.

Lusty cries echoed from down in the cells and the men snorted between thrusts.

"Bloody Owen, went to check on them didn't he" Jack panted.

"Tosh tried to stop him from opening the cell" Ianto barked as his laughter made his stomach muscles quiver, gods and Jack felt it with his dick so deep.

"Ah my baby" Jack sighed as the sofa started to walk again.

"Yeah" Ianto hiccupped "Yours."

Janet wandered past and stopped, swaying her head as she watched Jack's butt cheeks clench, then moaned softly as she walked towards the exit.

"Janet" Ianto called out, "While you're out, get me a pizza!"

Janet sighed.

 


End file.
